Who Says Teaching Isn’t Dangerous

by Seth Williams

So last year I became enamored with a coffee mug …. sure it was just a mug but it was my mug. Well one day, I come to school grab my mug and go get some coffee and low and behold the handle just falls right off. The mug tumbles to the ground …. miraculously it was some how unscathed. So i did what any caring mug parent would do I went and fixed it …. and it continued to serve my purpose for that entire year.

Flash forward to a week ago, I arrive from the states come into the office for the first time and there she is, just as I left her, glued on handle and all. Flash forward again to this morning …. I came in early, since no one else is in that early I can get lots done with out distractions. I had just had my first cup of coffee and went back to get my second ….I fill up MY mug …. the coffee sends off visible steam. I sit down at the computer start typing out my last thoughts …. grab my mug, bring it up to my lips … i can feel the warmth on the tip of my nose and then time stops.

The next 30 plus seconds are fuzzy, but the following is what i’ve been able to dig out of the suppressed memories I have of the event:

The handle which I had so caringly glued on; came un-glued in an instant …. pouring the molten liquid down and around my stomach and like lava tearing a hole through a forest with its destructive furry …. the coffee if that is even what we can continue to call it because of its ridiculous temperature, so now it will be referred to as Lava …. made its way down south. its hard to bring back these memories, its was such an explosively painful event in my life. But suffice to say I jumped out of my seat ….flinging the Lava about the PE office.

In my mad dash towards the locker-room, to seek relief in the supple cold waters of the boys shower….I over looked the fact that the door connecting the Men’s PE office to the locker-room was latched …. Bong …. I run smack into what should be a free swinging door, but is currently an immovable object between me and relief ….. and so another frantic struggle takes place. As I try and hold my now scalding shorts and shirt away from the effected areas I’m simultaneously struggling with the latch.

Seemingly, hours pass by and finally I find the right combination of jumping around, vocal noise, finger movements and click the latch is freed …. I find relief….I asses the damage the aforementioned areas are a nice hue of rosé red.

Earlier before the epic struggle with the latch, Khun Kee the sports departments’ secretary, upon hearing the noise i was making came to check and see if I was dying. Some how I conveyed to her that I had burnt my self …. again everything was quite hazy, I don’t quite remember what i said …. but whatever it was sent Kee running for the nurses office to find something to soothe my pain. On her way she was held up by the Thai staff sing the Kings anthem, you see this day’s date is 9/9/9 and so the Thai staff had a singing of the anthem at exactly 9:9:09am to Honor the king on this momentous occasion…. so Kee doing as any good Thai would, stops to sing for the king. To do other wise would be un-heard of. This brings me to realize that this incident if it did not happen at exactly 9:09:09am of 9/9/09 then it was mighty close. Momentous for sure.

Kee returns with said Aloe and some other balm, she finds me mopping up the lava which was flung about and Icing my affected areas.

So on this momentous day, realize that teachers face a vast array of dangers, from the horrible spilled coffee to ties being caught in shredders …. and like teachers you too might not have the most dangerous of jobs but don’t let life catch you off guard. I Hope this brightens your day as it brightened my stomach which again is a nice hue of red.

All the best,

Seth Williams

PS Please feel free to forward this on to any you think would find it amusing, educational or profit from reading it (I sent this out to the staff at the school and it was greeted with smiles to say the least.)